Please take note. Thanks a bunch!

The title is meant to act as a warning, I tell you. Im about to burst. duhh obviously emotionally.

This trip back home to Indonesia made me think a lot, a little too much in fact.


Recently, my uncle passed away. He was an uncle from my mother's side. He was the oldest, with my mum being the youngest among all. From what I've heard, he was very kind. When my mum heard about him passing away, she tried to act normal. Her voice didnt change, she didnt gasp or anything, but I could tell she was so sad. My grandmother actually cried so badly and refused to eat...

I, when my mum told me he passed away, didnt cry. I was sad, but didnt shed a single tear.


I cant even remember his face, not even his name, the last time I met him was years ago, I couldnt even remember when or where.

I grew up with the relatives from dad's side. I rarely see those from mum's side. I only remember them from mum's stories, from their angpaos during CNY, what a shameless niece I am.

Worse is, mum didnt allow me follow her to attend the funeral. I want to at least see him for the last time. RIP, uncle. (I still dont know his name....)


Do you know about my last trip to Singapore? It was just months ago, March, I think. The reason was to visit and accompany my grandpa while he was undergoing surgeries. One was to remove his kidney stone, the other one's highly confidential.

Anyway, just 3 years ago, I saw him every morning, eating his porridge and watching some chinese news I dont understand. He moved around by himself, he was very very healthy for a man in his 80s.

After the surgeries, he had trouble in passing out urine. His bladder couldnt hold, and he couldnt move around by himself. So everyday, there's always at least one of my uncles/aunties staying over at my place to take care of him. To bathe him. To help him move around. To tell him stories to help him recall events of the past.

Just being there to witness the sight pains me. I really want to somehow be of any help to him, but Im pretty much useless when it comes to this.

why oh why am I such a person? Im not a good niece, not a good granddaughter even. what kind of person am I supposed to be, then?

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Here I am, spending the holidays in Indonesia.

So it's been a week and this is apparently my first blogpost ever since the hols started.

well, sorry for the wait, I only use my phone here. My laptop's sitting so comfortably on the dining table in Kuching. pfft. Phone doesnt help much in blogging too.

Whenever I logged into my account and wanted to post an entry, something had to go wrong.

Either it suddenly gets very laggy, or the post isnt saved, whatever. Im sick of those. psh.

But not nowwwww .

*spreads love HAHAHAH

I've just downloaded this app called Blogaway, it works pretty fine to me, just that I havent tried uploading any pictures through it.

oh well, its at least good enough to allow me to post my usual boring blogpost .hahhah!

peeps,

I have a lot in my mind, like really A LOT, so blog next time kay?


and.. by the way, Hunger Games is awesomeeee. have just finished the first book. IN LESS THAN A DAY. :D If any of you is kind enough to let me know where to buy the second book from, then please do so!!

Im dying to know the continuation.AAGHH.

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I need a break.
A vacation.
I seriously need one!

ohmygawsh. exam will start in exactly 38 hours from when I typed this.
AAAARGH. whai do I bother counting the hours? urk.

Today I woke up at 7.30+ It's early, no? well, for a saturday at least.
I heard about Tadika Sri Mawar's open day(which is today) and went there with mum after breakfast. The kindy is just right next to my apartment! :D There, I got myself few pluggies, hairbands and this cute, fragile-looking purse. They're so lovely! Then, without further delay, I continued revising chemistry (I've actually started last night, but couldnt get anything inside my brain). Physics and Economics papers will be on Monday, while Chem's on Wednesday. The reason why I started studying chem before physics was because I loooooove chem! It's so fun(so far) ! After managing to finish 80 questions(with many mistakes, obviously) and summarising important points from coursebook(this is my first time reading chem's coursebook. HAHAH), my brain shut down.

and now here I am blogging instead of revising econs and physics! :O :O :O :O :O
Physics and econs have been my weakest subjects .

SAVE ME:(
Im scared I wont be able to finish Physics paper.
It consists of 20MCQs, 10 structured questions and 3 alternative to practical ques.
The time limit is only 2 hours!! NOT ENOUGH LAH.

Been quite some time since I last posted an entry, no?

so, it's teachers' day today.
I expected an awesome day of class party and performances.
but urghhh.
all the fun was taken away!
UNIFORMS WERE COMPULSORY. NO CLASS PARTY. NORMAL LESSONS.
AND ASSEMBLY WAS CANCELLED HALF-WAY.
meaning, half of the performances was cancelled.

because CIE (cambridge international examinations) were going on for the yr.11 and 13s.
urgh.
so pissed.
why remove all the fun?
can't they organise the assembly to be done before the CIE starts?
like, last week perhaps?
that way, we can still have class parties and performances wah!
what do you think the parents came for?
obviously to see (and record) their children's performances duh!
Many students and parents complained about this.
sighs.
Lodge is destroying its good reputation.
hmph. im still so so so so in a bad mood.
no study mood now. thanks a lot, mr ***** .I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. If you can sense the sarcasm =__=

anyway,
good news good news.

This year, the prefects will be going for a singapore trip (again) and I'm allowed to go by my parents.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY
So glad. man. Finally! my dad actually allows me! YAYYYY AGAINNN .
I hope he will allow me to go for trips again next time :3 :3
love you loads, dad ;)

McDonald, I've missed you so much!
and Old town white coffee, OHMAI ♥ I can drink it all day.



































McD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! addiction ♥

Mom's coming tonight, and it's mother's day! such a coincidence eh? :D

I've got this fake rose for mum, since she somehow dislikes real flowers. pfft.
they wilt, they die. she prefers something which lasts, and she likes hello kitty!
Maybe I'll get something hello kitty-ish for her next year. Maybe.

Speaking of mum,
this makes me realise I was being so hurtful all these times. I yelled at her, I disobeys her almost all the time, I even made her cry once! I really regretted that :(
But just like me, my mum is pretty stubborn, but is also a fragile woman.
I love you, mum. ♥ 

okay writing this kind of post is so awkward!
I should end it before I die in embarrassment. bye!

''Life of the Party'' Forever 21 sweater, with collared dresses.

It's so fun looking through your closet and mix your shirts together to create a new look!
This is one of the things I always do when I cant fall asleep.
The other things I usually do are; bore myself with books, play random games on phone, tidy my room up (this is so rare!)
Anyway,
I fell in love the moment I see the combination above, especially when the shirt is combined with the blue dress. Its so nice! contrast, young and sweet!
I think you'll soon see me going out in that outfit ;)


speaking about outfit,
I bought this flower band from singapore, its one of my favourite! although it will be really awkward to actually put it on and go around kuching.

Some said the new blue background doesnt look nice.