Thursday, 8 September 2011 @ 9:30 pmIf you have read my previous posts, did you actually wonder why I was so emo and all?
well, I cant keep it in forever right, so I'll just spill it out here. lol.
If you dont want to know, then dont read :p
want to know? kay. lol .
Actually I had a problem which remains unsolved, until now.
It's like.. err... I like a guy, yeah a guy, I'm not a lesbian and I think you all know that. lol
I dont want to say the name here ,lol. so lets just call him G. why G? well cos he's a guy. lol .G for guy. Im not gonna put his initial cos it'll be very obvious. lol (hey..i think i used too many lol.. LOL. -o-)
yeah so..not many ppl know abt this la, only my bestfriends (2 girls), a guy friend of mine (call him M) ,a close friend of mine ,who is a girl, and let's just call her C.
SO... (hey I've just typed my own name.lol) I didnt actually tell C. Its just that one day, I went out with her and some other friends. She then asked me if she could borrow my phone, I was like,,why not? So I lent it to her. Then suddenly the guy I like, G, texted me. She read the message and she found out that I always text him, like,,almost everyday. lol (yeah that day we were very close. he even stated that I was his closest female friend) .so C then asked me whether I was dating him. I said no and she continued playing with my phone. Then she found a folder, which was named after G, and was filled with his messages and many more stuffs. Then she asked me again whether I liked him. I thought I could trust her and I said yes. Then she began asking stuffs about G lah..
Kay, then ,one night, G texted me, he asked me to delete all my messages with him. He even typed "dont ask why" . I had no choice but to delete the whole folder. :(
Then the next day, I told C about the text. I thought she would say something like "huh?really? then did you delete them?" ,but surprisingly she said "eh? I really didnt tell him anything boh" .I then found out that G actually met up with C, M, and some other friends to do project. C also told me that maybe G said that to me because of M. C said G was playing with his phone, and M started teasing him with me and some other girls.
I was like, yeah..maybe because of that...
Until the day after that, I found out the truth.. Well, I was like very emo and all that, so G asked me "are you that sad?" I just looked at him and nodded. Then I asked whether M told him.. He didnt say a word. I kept asking. Finally he answered, he said M didnt tell him anything, M wasnt so obvious too. It was actually C who told him. C said something like, "I know you text nia la. that day I saw ur messages in her phone. she kept them u know" and so G asked me to delete the messages. It seems that C told him some other stuffs but G didnt want to tell me what she exactly told him..
I felt bertayed. It's like, I dont know if I can still trust her... Some friends of mine said that C is very nice,and we can trust her, but some other friends said that C cant keep secrets to herself. I didnt know who to trust..
And because of her, G was like, kind of avoiding me for a whole week, but he talked to me again on Friday.
Then the next week, he somehow continued to avoid me.. not avoiding to be exact, it's just like, he never text me anymore, he never say hi to me like how he used to do it, he never show me his bright smile anymore.. Until now, we didnt talk at all.. I feel so lonely.. I miss his eye-blinding smile. I miss his jokes and the way he always make me laugh. I miss his lies to me (he used to lie to me, and when I take it seriously he always laughs and say it was just a lie..) I miss his laughter. I miss the way he stares at me just to piss me off... I miss all those memories..
And today, I saw him waving to a friend of mine (not a very close friend) and he said hi to her, the way he always does to me, while showing his retarded smile... Then our eyes met but he didnt even bother to say hi to me.. </3 I want to go back to the past. no.. all I ask is that you dont ignore me.. stop acting as if I wasnt there..