I've been thinking a lot today..
so if you see my in me ''depressed mode'', I wasnt depressed. I wasnt sad, I wasnt tired, nor was I sleepy.

I was..thinking .

Life here in Kuching isnt easy.
Having to clean by myself, cook and do all the chores tire me.
I need refreshment. I need breaks.
and I want to be productive too at the same time, so the best refreshment I could come out with is..music.
BUT .
somehow, my dad dislikes music. He doesnt want me to be involved with musical instruments, and he doesnt allow me to even go to k-box!

so what about me? what about my refreshment? the break I need???

hanging out with friends is also an option,
but again, my parents are strict. They dont let me go out so often.

so what am I supposed to do here at home with my brother?
well, my brother makes himself busy with all the movies, tv series and anything he can watch.
but me? I cant stand sitting down for hours, staring at the monitor watching whatever they display.
I just cant. I dislike watching movies at home. idk why :/

so... to be honest I feel lonely.


and my brother will be leaving for Singapore this year.
maybe July? August? no exact date yet.
but he will be leaving.
so I'll be staying here alone??? what am i supposed to do?
be a loner and stare at random stuffs?







Im lonely.

and I hate to admit that.
I actually like homeworks.. I know that was weird. But at least I have something to do! at least there's something that I can make myself busy with!!

ugh. why am I so weird?

anyways, I just want to be free to do anything I want.
I want to express my passion to music and art. I want to socialise!! I hate being a loner :/